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I checked the temperature of the younger girls, and luckily none of them seemed feverish anymore. When it was time to help Lindsay, she hesitated for a moment. I forced myself to look at her eyes."Lin, I'm sorry. Maybe someday I'll be able to talk about that, but not quite yet. And when that day comes, you'll hear it all if you still want to listen."The uneasiness that I had been able to see in her eyes seemed to melt away, and then she sighed."Of all people, I should know that feeling. Maybe we can trade our sad stories at some point." I hope so."Those words escaped my lips before I had any control over my mouth. The fact I really meant it, didn't mean that I was supposed to say it out loud. When I had helped her to the bathroom, I was about to leave her there when she stopped me."Noel, there is no need for you to leave. I guess you have already seen all there is to see. Which is not much." Lin, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your body or looks." But there is nothing. And I went along, reluctantly – unhappily. I knew this was really all about us. It was about sex. I knew my marriage was in trouble. Problem is, what do you do about it? My brother and my best friend had both warned me. They told me Pamela was a brainy, sexy, spoiled rotten bitch (“just like Gail,” my brother warned – a reference to his wife’s sister, who had left her husband for a professor soon after she started as a part-time grad student). Lately, they said, she’d been showing all the signs of “turning hippy.” What they meant was that she had begun sheepishly defending the antiwar protesters, had expressed curiosity about pot, and had taken to wearing less makeup and letting her hair fall loose and full. Moreover, they said, she seemed to be bored at family gatherings, which my Dad regarded as the very most disturbing sign. Unlike my brother, who had never liked Pamela (although he’d made it clear he found her sex- ually.
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