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"I pick up the sandwich I had paid hard earned money for and toss it in the trash. Why eat? I'm not going to live long anyway. I already have a plan. I'm kind of sorry to not be able to stick around and see the results. Hell, it is going to be spectacular. I wonder how many days the story will make it on the front page before someone else does something even more spectacular.I guess you could say that I'm being used. But I don't know if that's true either. See, the way I see it, I'm using them. The fact that they'll survive and I won't is beside the point. You see, I want to die. Yep, it's true. I want to die. I have no reason to go on living and no one will miss me.My foster parents? Yeah right. They'll be happy I'm not eating everything in sight, and they'll probably hope that no one at DCFS catches on so they can keep cashing the check I generate every month. Friends, who would want to be my friend? I move so much, thanks to DCFS, that making friends is a no win proposition. Now I. But there are also days - not often, just very occasionally - when the day is not one of those days. And this day is one of those rare days when the stress and frustration has built up in a way that rather than your loving touch I need a more... assertive... release. I’m not angry, or at least not with you (never with you), but I have a pent-up energy that needs a particular manner of release, and I am very clear as to that manner, and I am determined that that release it shall find.And as I walk in the door and you greet me and embrace me and wrap your arms round me and I wrap mine around you we hold each other and every day when we greet like this it's as if we've just discovered each other for the first time and our kiss lingers and our hands explore each other and our love fills and surrounds us and we gaze into each other's eyes and see the depth and and certainty of our commitment to each other.Today as I walk in the door you greet me but I walk to you and take your hair in one.
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