I’m certain I can’t take any more. I’m terrified that I may faint and strangle while he watches me doing my little death dance on the end of this thick rope around my neck.But he’s far from finished. I heard that swishing sound again and this time the pain erupted on the front of my thighs, just above my knees.The pain was even worse when he hit me on the front of my thighs. I hurt so much from the whipping that I’ve almost reached the point at which I can ignore the pain from the rope around my neck and my inability to breathe when I move out of position.He struck me once more on my upper thighs, just below my pussy. And then, as soon as I was back in position he struck me on my lower belly, just above my pubic hair.I’m a hopeless mess by this time. I have drool flowing freely from my open mouth and mixing with the steady stream of tears running out from under the blindfold and down my cheeks, then dripping down onto my breasts. I’m struggling to breathe, in part because every time. That moment would seem to last forever for me … a time out of life. Then I would pull the trigger and know I had taken a man’s life. Looking through a scope at a target is something quite personal. I would watch some guy wipe his nose with his sleeve or the sweat off his brow with his hand. Sometimes I would watch the eyes shift and I would wonder what he was thinking about … and whether he was married and had kids. Was he looking at me … wondering what I was thinking? Wondering if I had a wife? Sometimes I just thought too damn much. It was best to think of this as an intellectual exercise of the dynamics of trajectory, speed and the play of the elements on the bullet on its way to its own violent death. I eased gently on the hair trigger, images of the startled leap of an antelope made when hit with a high-power rifle. In another world now, I barely heard the shot or the quick kick of the recoil. I’d held steady and had a quick flash of something falling back, streaks of red.
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