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My grandma always said, ‘God gives us just enough — never too much and never too little.’ She was right. That short time I knew you was just long enough for me to know someone loved me. I think that was the thing that changed me most of all. Knowing that someone had unconditional love for me. And that was what made me finally able to let go and love myself. Sometimes at night I think about the night you died. I cry every time I remember the look on the nurses face, when I knew the end was near. She came in and pulled away the tubes. Then the doctor came, and they turned off your life support. I closed my eyes as I heard the rhythmic sound of your heart monitor shift to a single sharp note. I still hear that in my head sometimes when I close my eyes. I don’t think it’ll ever go away. But what I’ll remember even more is what happened just before all of that. They stepped out of the room to let me say goodbye. I ran my fingers through your thin hair and choked out words that I had. .. are you willing ... to trust me?"She looked away, and thought for a second or two. She thought of their on-line conversations. She thought of what had gone on so far between them. She thought of ....She raised her head, looked Jason directly in the eye and said with absolute conviction, "Totally Sir." Excellent. Now, be a good little sub and put on that blindfold ..."Megan picked the blindfold up off of the bed. She gasped, as the cut-throat razor underneath was exposed. She couldn't take her eyes off how sharp the blade looked. "Amber. Amber....Amber," she stuttered, backing away slightly. "Please Sir, give me a moment.." Certainly sub. Take a second to get your breathing under control. Trust, remember."Megan's chest heaved up and down, and her pulse hammered in her ears as she fought against her instincts. She thought of Sir, the calmness in his voice and the control in his voice. Slowly her breathing slowed and the pulse decreased. Still faster than normal, but more under.
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