I just can't help it, because I know my memories are all I have until you come home. Some nights I just can't sleep, and I run my fingers slowly up and down my thighs, across my tummy, and around my boobs, trying to tease myself the same way you like to tease me. My boobs especially are so tender and achy from wanting to feel your lips on them, I have to pinch my nipples to give myself some temporary relief. It just isn't the same as when you do it though, Sean my love. Just the thought of your fingers and your tongue teasing me, caressing me in the most sensitive of spots, makes me light-headed.And the rest of me - oh, Sean, I get so wet just thinking of you as I lie in my bed, in the dark, with nothing but my pictures of you and my thoughts of your hands and your kisses. The way you touch me so lovingly, and yet you can be so hard and forceful when you need to be, it just makes me weak in the knees even thinking about it now, here in study hall! What would old Miss Epstein say if. ’ And got back the expected responses. ‘Yeah, right!’ ‘Bull shit’ ‘Way out of your league you loser.’ The funny thing is, I didn’t want to go out at all. I had sworn off women after a nightmare of a break-up with a woman who really made me consider, for the first time in my life, whether or not life was worth continuing. I wasn’t suicidal or anything, but I had decided that I was destined to be either alone or in a miserable relationship, the only two choices I had experience with so far. Of those two choices I had decided that I would be happier alone and to just exist and chill instead of striving to have…ya know…the house, family, career thing. Good friends will do that for you though, they will drag you out into the world and convince you that you have worth, despite what you have been told. I’m being literal here. They came to my rented room, dumped my hung-over ass out of my bed onto the floor and threatened to drag me to the bar in my boxers if I didn’t get dressed..
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