” “I know,” I said. “But you have a secret life. There’s a whole part of you that he knows nothing about and you have a right to keep it to yourself, or take the risk of telling him about it, but whatever you do, don’t feel guilty for who you are. You’re a good person.” “This is hard for me. I understand what you mean, but it’s hard. I don’t want to lose him or hurt him, but I don’t want to give up this part of me, my sexuality, my imagination.” “Life is a risk, Hannah. You have to take the chance of sharing this part of who you are with him, or keeping it secret. It’s a choice. There is no right or wrong, but it would be better if he knew and is able accept you--all of you. I’ve learned that opportunities present themselves and are gifts, blessings in disguise, often lessons, but you have to be willing to listen and learn. It’s not what happens but what you do with what happens.” “I know,” she said, pausing, nodding. “Choosing an illusion doesn’t make my life less real.” “It’s all. “I know,” she said. “But I’ve never told you…Mark, I’m so confused. I’ve only ever loved one man in my entire life.” She looked into his eyes and he suddenly realized just who that one man was. He thought his heart would explode. She held out the stockings shyly. “Help me get these on?” she asked. His hand was trembling as he took the stockings from her hands. She leaned back on the bed, resting on her elbows, and held one leg into the air. The folds of the gown fell back to expose her pale skin, her smooth leg shining in the bedroom light. Mark stared at her for a moment, hardly daring to believe he wasn’t dreaming. Still unable to convince himself that she was offering herself to him, or that she had revealed her secret to him. The only man she had ever loved? He rolled up one stocking and put the tip over her toes, sliding it up and up, covering her ankle, her calf, her knee. She tugged the gown and her thigh was exposed. Mark slid the stocking up until his hands passed beneath.
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