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My dad had packed the car and my mom shoved a plastic bag of clothes into my clenched fist, all the while rushing herself and me into the car. They dropped me off at the end of Derek's street, I seriously considered running back home and staying there for the rest of the week. That would be fun, lying around for a whole week; not worrying about anything, just eating and sleeping. No. I couldn't do that, Derek and Jordan might get into trouble - then Derek might not talk to me again and I certainly didn't want that. So I dragged my feet along the road towards the largest house in the middle of the street and stopped. Not wanting to move any further, to just stand and be alone for as long as possible.Once again I motivated myself to get moving, reached the door. Pushed the bell and just walked right in. That was it, I was in there for the rest of the week, whether I wanted it or not. The smell of cooked meat and sweat hit my nostrils the second I entered Derek's (and now Jordans). I tried as hard as I could to keep our sexual intimacy up but it still wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be. I was almost out of school for the summer and all I wanted to do was be with my girlfriend so we could have sex again. I felt like I planned out us having sex more then we actually did it. I also felt like I wanted it more then she did. I often tried to bring up sexual topics between us and she would respond barely and then drop it or change the subject. This was frustrating to me, I knew other guys girlfriends were a lot more sexually driven then mine. I wanted to do something special for her when I got back home so I tried to plan something sexual. When I flew back to Arizona I drove to see her immediately because I couldn’t wait to see her. I planned on asking her to marry me as soon as I got out of school the following year. When I got to her house I wanted to surprise her so I didn’t tell her I was coming. When I finally got to her house I went in and couldn’t.
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