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" She paused and then said with a dreamy smile. "It makes me wet. It makes me happy. It makes me feel alive." Then her face lost all expression and her voice went totally flat as she continued, "But like any other drug, there are side effects. I build up a tolerance or something. It takes more and more pain to take me to the point of pain-pleasure. And once the built up tolerance gets to a certain point, I start losing the ability to feel pleasure-pleasure. I start needing pain, not to feel good, but just to not feel bad. When that happens, someone, somehow, has to take my body past pain-pleasure to true pain-pain so that everything resets itself. If the pain gets high enough, my brain reboots itself or something, and I start back at the beginning again."Kevin didn't understand what she meant, but told her that if she ever needed him to reset her and reboot her brain again, all she had to do was ask. Kevin now knew that Becky's text was exactly that. She was asking him to. " What about Jen? She's your lover too." Jen and I had a talk while we were across the hall. We agreed that it was fun but that we're going to be just friends. Neither one of us is interested in continuing an intimate relationship." But you still want me?"He pulled me against him and kissed me until my knees gave out and I had to cling to him for support."Does that answer your question?" His husky query sent shivers down my spine."Josh, why me and not Jen? I don't understand." You're my best friend, Lindsey. You have been since I was 13 years old. You're beautiful, smart, sexy, and talented. I just met Jen. She's nice and I think we'll be good friends, but she's not you."I have feelings for you, Lin. I have for a while now. I've wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how. Last night was the opportunity I've been waiting for." I don't know, Josh. It's too soon. I need time to get used to the idea. Your friendship is too important to me to screw up. Can I please just use one of the other.
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