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’ Her smile was full of joy. As we drove to 3i I explained that I thought we could start using the normal strobes first and then switch to candles later. She was happy with the idea. Mostly we talked about my sending love. She thought it was just wonderful. She asked: ‘Do you really love me?’ I answered: ‘Yes, but not you alone. I find that I care very much about all of the girls in my life.’ She asked: ‘Is caring the same as loving?’ I replied: ‘In some ways yes and in some ways no. Love has many forms, so does caring. I tend to think that love at its best becomes really recognizing the god presence at the center of the beloved’s being and then acting in ways that nurture that god presence.’ She said: ‘That is so beautiful. I have never heard a better definition.’ She leaned over and kissed my cheek. Then she asked: ‘Nurture not worship?’ I responded: ‘I don’t think God in any form wants or needs worship. Likewise he/she/it does not give orders. There is no ‘will of God’ to be. She gave a little grunt as I entered her and then I started ramming her as hard as I could. I gripped her hips and I plowed into her and I have no idea if she responded or not. I wasn't there. I was at 411 Campbell Street looking over the fence at Mary Beth taking a cock up her ass. The scene played and replayed itself over and over in my head and when I was ready to cum I thrust hard into her and blew my wad. When my cock was soft I pulled out of her cunt and left the room.I sat in the dark living room pulling on a beer and staring at the wall. I sat there wondering what was wrong with me. What had I done, or failed to do, that caused Mary Beth to be a pin cushion for my so called friends and anyone else who wanted a piece. I didn't think we had a bad love life. We made love three or four times a week and I almost always brought her to an orgasm. At least I always thought I did, but after seeing "When Harry Met Sally" I'm not really sure any more. We argued some, but I was never.
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