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I smoothed my dress down under the table, trying to look decent. Looking under the table, I could see the toes of her right foot were wet and sticky. She leant over and whispered again. “And you’ve got me so horny. Won’t you do something for me now?” “Sure” I said. “Here?” “Come to the toilets” she whispered. “I want you properly”. “Not the ones just here” I said “They’re too busy – but if we go over to the back door, there are some that hardly anyone uses”. “How do you know this stuff?” she asked. “Don’t tell me you’ve fucked your way all round London’s bogs?” I laughed “Not yet – but I actually like paintings as well as fucking! So I come here quite a lot” “I’ll follow you then” she said. I couldn’t remember exactly which rooms to go through, but I knew that from the Central Hall there would be signs for the “Orange Street Exit” and I followed those. We went past the Velasquez “Venus at her Toilette”, with her lovely bum, through more random rooms until I saw the full-length. ’ ‘She had a round, little face, big eyes, a long mouth with no lips…’ Harry interrupted saying, ‘Really thin lipped?’ ‘No,’ said Bill, ‘I mean no lips at all! Zip! Zilch! Bupkis! Nada! Diddly Squat!’ ‘You’re full of shit, Bill. You’re making this up!’ Harry gasped between guffaws. ‘I’m not making it up!’ said Bill, ‘Besides, it get worse.’ ‘Now I know you’re making it up!’ said Harry, ‘What could be worse?’ ‘Her nose,’ said Bill. ‘Okay,’ said Harry calming down a bit, ‘I’ll bite. What was wrong with her nose?’ ‘Her nose was this huge, bulbous thing that took up nearly a third of her face!’ said Bill. Harry suddenly stopped laughing and sat bolt upright in his chair. It had just dawned on him that while Bill was capable of spinning a good yarn now and then his imagination was not such that it would allow him to spin it in such detail. He looked at his partner and said, ‘You’re serious.’ ‘Yes,’ said Bill. Harry slumped back into the chair and said, ‘That must have been tough.’ ‘What.
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