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Mormon's do not recognize each other at Hooters or the Liquor Store.1 How do you turn a fox into an elephant?Marry It!2 What is the difference between a battery and a woman?A battery has a positive side.3 How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?Put a nipple on it.4 Why do women fake orgasms?Because they think men care.5 If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what haveyou done wrong?Made her chain too long.6 Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probablynever be able to support you.7 Why do women have smaller feet than men?It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closerto the kitchen sink.8 Why do men pass gas more than women?Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.9 If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling atthe front door, who do you let in first?The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him. "I'll be right back," sheannounced.Stephanie almost panicked. She might be arrested for fraud. But herfingerprints--they would match Stephen's--or so she hoped!What if Bertha demanded paperwork from a doctor or a judge?This was a bad idea, Stephanie decided. Maybe she should leave."Fill out this form," Bertha said. The bovine counter clerk had returned,after a brief consultation with her supervisor.With a slightly trembling hand, Stephanie accepted the document. "Thenwhat?" Take it to the processing window." She smiled. "They'll take care of therest."Half an hour later, Stephanie Naso had a valid driver's license. She shookher head, smiling. Although the "F" next to the word "Sex" legitimized heras female--or as mostly female, at any rate--it was amazing to see, for thefirst time, on a legal document, proof of her womanhood. It was even moreamazing that Bertha had allowed her, without muss or fuss, to complete theform necessary to be processed through the system in order to receive.
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