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Perhaps she’d merely redirected her anger against him by hating men in general. Point was, while he couldn’t see how she could ever truly forgive him, (and he didn’t blame her) he could never forgive himself. He could only push it down deeper and try to pretend that it never happened. But it did—and here it was again, pushing its way to the surface to stare him straight in the soul. Only this time, he let it. It didn’t matter anymore. In a few moments he wouldn’t be around to stare it back. The bottle was getting low and Linden knew it wouldn’t be long now. He reflected for a moment, wondering if things had turned out differently—had his mother not killed herself, if his wife had not been a cheating slut, if he had not done to his daughter what he did, would he have been a happy man? Daydreaming in a ‘woulda shoulda coulda’ kind of way, he realized ironically that this was the very kind of thinking that had brought him to this moment in the first place. Too late for all of that now.. I thought, perhaps Mrs. Schmidt's panties might have gone a little damp during our brief encounter. She certainly had shown more interest in Karl III than she ever had in Karl the Original.I was delighted at having retained my new, youthful identity all the way home, and even in the absence of Ellie's being in my immediate vicinity! But my delight was tempered by troubled thoughts about what it all meant -- for the rest of my life, and for the people in my life who meant the most to me.It was fine that the neighbors didn't recognize me. But what about close friends, there in the town? True, I had few close friends, but I did have those few. For example, a few men and women who belonged to the same book club that I still counted as one of my regular activities. What would happen when people who knew me -- knew me well -- were exposed to me? Who would they see? The old me, or the new one?And what about my daughter, and my son-in-law? And my granddaughter? Surely they would see the.
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