"I still love you, Binta! I will always love you! All I want is for us to be together again. Please believe me!" Ferhana told me about the videos. How you found out about me and her. How can you ever forgive me? What can I do to convince you that it is you? Only you that I love! Please please forgive me! And how you must have suffered these last months! Those horrid clothes you wear. The suffering you must have been through!"In Ana's rehearsed script this was to be the occasion in which she would now spell out exactly the full gruesome and unpalatable details of her life as a prostitute - part-time, maybe, but a prostitute all the same. She was to tell Binta about the recurrent humiliations met upon her by the Director and his never-ceasing reminders of the illegal activity with Binta which had entrapped her in this way. In her mind's eye, this script was now crumpled up and thrown away into the waste bin at the corner generally intended to receive paper tissues."Oh, Binta!" she said. Apologies but that is an inaccurate generalisation. In truth I am fixated by the way my foot dangles midair. The contrast of deep red shoe against barely black fine hosiery, the sight of the small mole atop it visible through the fine denier, the twin curvature of the toe, and, most mentally seducing, is the way the tops of my toes tap against the inside of the shoe when I wiggle them. It is a quite delightful shoe and certainly deserving of being fixated upon. Resplendent in crimson almost velveteen fabric with a perfect yet dainty arc and a trio of slightly off coloured red flowers adorning the outstep and it is my intention to spend the next 45 minutes of my life enjoying its every gorgeous facet. The only other distraction that I am allowing to enter my too busy brain is the smooth, cool, finely shaped stem of the wine glass that my thumb and forefinger are caressing with appropriate love and attention and if I could drag my eyes away from my see-sawing footwear I might even.
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