Cute Paki Girl
.. I never reallyfigured you were, well..." Never figured I was what?" I ask, perplexed at Ellen's wonderings."Never figured you were a heterosexual girl," Ellen finished, carefullypicking out her words."Any reason I wouldn't be?" I ask, adopting a slight Charlotte-esquepout."Other than the fact that two weeks ago you were, I assume, aheterosexual boy?" Ellen retorts, dragging my unwanted past back intothe present."Whoever said I was a heterosexual boy?" I reply. "Okay, I guess I didthink of myself as a straight guy, but to be honest... I'd neveractually had sex with anyone before all this so I don't really know whatI was. And now, if I find a guy attractive, there's no stigma so I canpursue him if I want." You do know it's 2011," Ellen reminds me. "There's no real stigmaattached to being gay anymore?" I simply sigh and look at the olderwoman sadly."Not if you had a childhood I did," I sigh. Ellen takes the hint andprobes no further. Shortly after we arrive home I quickly skip up. I tried to figure that out by counting, ?one Mississippi?, ?two Mississippi?, ?three?? to ?sixty Mississippi? to see how many minutes I could remain with my arms outstretched. Suffice it to say I did not have to count too many ?sixty Mississippi’s? before my heavy-as-lead arms started inching downward toward my sidesUsually the first lowering of the arms met with a ?harumm?. The second with a, ?get your arms back up?, and the third with the warning that the next time would earn extra time.Extra time was fifteen additional minutes added to that night’s period. After three such extensions for a total of forty-five minutes, the next lapse in self-discipline added another night to the penalty period. For me, what started out as three nights ended up as six. It probably would have been longer except I rather abruptly ended the whole fiasco with a, ?FUCK you sister, and shove that cross up your ass?!Did I mention that I have a hot temper?A phone call to my parents the next day and words.
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