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It was an impossible balance to achieve. It was also impossible not to compare Tom’s lovemaking unfavourably with Paul’s amazing technique and I’m sure Tom was comparing me with Lisa so I suspect we both felt disappointed after each coupling. We persevered for another month, each passing week making it easier to forgive if not forget. Even now I believe we could have reached an adequate on-going relationship if it hadn’t been for one massive event that ended all chances of normality returning. I found out I was pregnant! Again! I was stunned! After my last mistake, how the Hell could I have let it happen? I have had a long time to think about things since that eventful morning and of course in practical terms, there is no mystery at all. Just like our one previous sexual encounter, all Paul and my lovemaking had been entirely unprotected. Paul didn’t know I was fertile; he didn’t know about the previous pregnancy and presumably thought I was on the pill. He was wrong. Because of my. ”“I ... I might not cum any more.”Christ. “It’s an emotional thing, not just physical. They’ll come back, but if they don’t I’ll still love you.”She pressed into me and I rolled onto my back and helped pull her on top. I was betting she’d still have done this only with me. I cuddled her intensely, with no erection. I was trying not to think about what she must have experienced.“Is it okay if we don’t do it?” she asked. “You were right, to say not. Just for a bit.”“Of course.”So we talked a bit more and eventually she had the little cry she needed. Cooling, tickling drops ran down the side of my chest. Then she fell asleep lying on me. She was heavy, but eventually I fell asleep too.In the morning she was most of the way back to the old Faye. She followed me down to make coffee, in her thin, short robe, and then to and fro between the cupboards, kettle and fridge. She wasn’t embarrassed at her dependency, and I took care to encourage her with smiles and fondling.“Your hair’s grown,” I.
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