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I could not hurt her in any way, so the only thingwas to lie to her, it made me feel really sick inside that I was lying toher, but it was better than hurting her.Many months passed, my wife and I talked a lot about this thing, but shecould never except it, "You are my husband, not a woman, I am your wife,not a lesbian." she said.I promised never to do it again, I really believed I could stop thesefeelings, but as we all know, there's not a chance in hell you can, Itried I really did, but several months later they came creeping back, Istarted to look at other women and wished I was them.I bought some new clothes, this time I hid them very well, at everyopportunity when my wife was not around I would wear them, it was myrelief valve, if I could not have done this I would have gone insane.The years passed, ten to be exact and life went on, I tried to be asmanly as I could when my wife was around, and when she wasn't I againbecame my true self Wendy as I called myself.It was around that. "Have you told her that too?" Yes. In fact I have. I stuck my neck out for you and it got ripped off." Oh. Well, I appreciate you standing up for me. Is there maybe a homeissue or something." She's a private person. Even I don't know what's going on there. Evenso, that would be none of your business." So there is something," I said."I think I said too much already."I sighed.She looked at me. "Listen, I know you mean well, Christina. But I can'treally talk about this with you." Well, how about just as head cheerleader," I said. "Was she always thishard on the squad?" She's always pushed the girls to do their best. That started when wewere underclassmen. We managed to win regionals with her mentoringeveryone. That's how she became the captain. She's really just trying topush us so we can go to nationals." But why is she intervening in everyone's lives?" She's just really trying to instill loyalty to each other. Team-first." That part makes sense," I said. "But her dictating your free.
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