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It is one of the strengths of our relationship, this sharing of stories. Some of them have been told over dinners at restaurants, some while walking and holding hands, some while driving, and some while ‘basking in the afterglow’ of an evening of lovemaking. They run the gamut, these stories: Funny, painful, cryptic, cliched, nostalgic, angry, hilarious. We are trying to make up for decades of not knowing each other, slowly filling in the missing pieces we each have in the picture puzzle of each other’s life. ‘A rat? No, not that I recall – and it sounds like something I’d recall’ I say, a half smile on my lips. But her eyes weren’t focused on the here and the now and me and my half-smile, but instead on the there, the then, and – apparently – a rat. ‘It was in seventh-grade biology class. The teacher announced to the class one day that he was going to hold a contest, and that everyone had to participate. We were all supposed to come up with a name for the rat he had in the. It wasn't that he couldn't think of anything else. It wasn't that at all. It was just that things Santa kept intruding into his normal life.It was six months later that the final straw fell on the camel's back, the straw that would eventually break Bob.It started when he asked a girl named Melanie out on a date. She was a sergeant who worked at the Army Post Office. He had tried, one night, to blot out Gwyneth's image from his mind while he masturbated, and think of someone else. It hadn't worked. He'd gone soft. Instead of emptying his balls that night, he filled his stomach. With peppermint schnapps. And he'd been late to formation the next morning.When a squad leader is late to formation, things don't go well. True, he was only thirty seconds late, but when the first sergeant bellows, "Fall in," then approximately thirty seconds later, there should be no movement of any kind in the ranks. And Bob arrived thirty seconds after that. His assistant squad leader had taken his place in.
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