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”Me:”Why, other than the fact I’m an asshole?”Friend: “You killed God. You’ve spent your entire life searching for wisdom. You’ve studied religion, magick, psychology, all of it. You killed your belief in god long before you ever got sick. When you faced that darkness you knew you were the only one there and that you couldn’t answer your own prayer.”Me: “Wait a minute, You’re saying I’m mad at myself?”Friend: “Yes.”I felt the truth of his words and it was like he had run me through with a sword. I was speechless. It took me a couple of days to process what he had told me. He was in fact, correct. In my heart, I had killed God. Nobody is home or on the throne.It’s a liberating, yet lonely thought. All my life, I have been told of a loving Father which is an image I clung to as I never had one. The Christian faith is burned deep into my soul/mind and even though I have no “faith” I still find comfort in it’s familiarity. I’m also Heathen and find comfort in the sagas of my ancestors and. Jim grinned almost triumphantly and moved across the room to the couch, the couple that were already there quickly got up to give him room. Sitting himself in the centre of the couch Jim looked up at my wife with a raised eyebrow as though challenging her to back down.“Okay, who has a stop watch or timer?” Jim asked as Brenda crossed the room to join him.As Brenda sat beside him one of the men produced a watch with a count-down timer on it, Jim had the man set it for ten minutes then appointed Ruth as the time-keeper.“One thing,” Jim said as Ruth took the watch, “you don’t start the time going until after I start.”“Okay.” Ruth replied.“And no distractions,” Jim added, “the watch has an end of time alarm so no need to count out the time.”“Now just a minute,” Brenda objected “you were the one that wanted to do this as it was done in the story, so Ruth should count down the minutes like they did in the story.”“Not feeling so confident?” Jim smirked. “Don’t you think you can resist.
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