And that just made me feel I then had no right to protest. After all... I'd willingly been with Bill by then, so what difference did it really make?Now... I was alone, sad, and very lost. I'd felt used up before, not ever knowing exactly how that felt. I was on a thin line. Depression and unbidden, dark, troublesome thoughts often entered my mind, thoughts that I had talked to my doctor about. She pushed for me to take some drugs for that... but I felt I needed to feel this pain... for a while at least. To make sure I remembered just what I had thrown away.It was a dangerous game I was playing with myself then. One that could end up with me dead and gone. I walked that line, the edges of it drawing me in and out many times a day. I thought deep down that if I lost John forever, I would rather be out of my misery than have to face myself each day.When John called me that night, having gotten back from his vacation, I was surprised. That night too, I'd been depressed. I thought that he. Again a few couches for playing on along with a bathroom off to the side. The top floor was an even darker kept space from the bottom.This was where the party was REALLY happening. I was very dark up there but as I walked around all I saw were older, mostly heavy set men with big bellies and fat cocks. At least 30 guys who were mostly standing around jerking their cocks. A few were playing with each other and sucking but there wasn’t a ton of action yet. I got upstairs and could see eyes start to turn on me I walked around the room just saying “Look at all these hot daddies”I was so horny I just dove in, random men just started grabbing me, squeezing my ass, my cock, pinching my nipples, kissing me. One of the daddies said out load, “We have a hot bottom boy now”. And the other guys chanted on. One of the immediately started sucking my huge cock, deepthroating it as far as he could while I fucked his hot mouth. I stopped and took 4 huge sniffs of poppers. I instantly got down on my.
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