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Inside a band is playing. The ‘boys’ are checking out the menu and the bartender. He hands me my drink and says. ‘When does the tour begin?’ We get up from the table and walk through the courtyard. The party lights hanging from the trees are on and they are even prettier than I remembered. He touches my arm and points at the mannequin lounging by the fish pond. I lose my breath…for a second…what is going on. We wander through the inner rooms. They are small and crowded. The band is tuning up and the electricity you feel when live music is beginning could be felt around everyone we passed. We stop at the stairs. They lead up to a loft with a wide open space to watch the band from above. He looks up the stairs then at me. There is a question there but he won’t ask it. I smile and start up the stairs. We stop at the rail and lean over. We have a perfect view of the singer and his red guitar. The bass player starts a line and I feel it shake through the room. We listen. Not talking, not. .." Yeah, well," I conceded, moodily. "Maybe that's another point – I mean, our relationship has always had a sort of undercover quality – I think the world of the woman, I really do, but all the time I was getting to know her she was, of course, looking after Phil, so it was never really appropriate to discuss the 'us' stuff ... and I think it just got to be a habit."I waited for her to say something – something helpful, something consoling, something ... whatever. But she didn't, so eventually I went on."And then, of course, the problem with making a lot of tacit assumptions about a relationship is that you're never quite sure whether they're shared assumptions ... which then makes it really risky to articulate them – in case you are wrong. So we've never really talked about the future – even though we're committed to sharing a flat in the new place. Hell, we're supposed to be sharing a flat this evening and somehow I don't think that's such a brilliant idea, given the way things.
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