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The brunette is called up. She says, “Ready, aim, tornado!” Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away.Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, “Ready, aim, earthquake!” Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it’s the blonde’s turn, who says, “Ready, aim, fire!”I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.Q: Why is England the wettest country?A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, “Not again.”Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two: one to change it and another one to. He sat very close beside me. ‘You… you’re sort of making me uncomfortable, Tony. You’re my best friend’s lover.’ He barked a gentle laugh. ‘You are very, very attractive, Betty. But I give you my word I’ll remain true to Riya. I’ll make no pass at you tonight… or ever.’ ‘What do you want, then?’ He reached up and put a finger on my chin, turning my face toward him. He looked as if he intended to kiss me. My lips parted to complain, and then froze in that position as he said: ‘Look at me and relax, now. Relax. Just relax for me.’ And in my peripheral vision, I saw his other hand rise, his fingers poised. ‘No!’ I managed to moan. But then… SNAP! A wave of immense weariness crashed down on me. My eyes closed, and I couldn’t help sagging forward toward him. I struggled and fought until I could force my eyes open again, and even then, they were hooded and heavy. ‘No,’ I managed to mumble again. He put his finger back under my chin, and I was obliged to look into his smiling eyes. ‘You.
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