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If she sees you first, will she pretend not to? Does she know, that your being there, means you can’t go back? Will this just deepen the pity she feels for you? You’ve heard her voice, and fantasize her turning to you in the morning, to say wake up, but was that ever in the cards? Would she expect a kiss, and if so, how passionate? Do the daily emails, and phone calls, make her think you are pathetic, or do they convey the hope, and desire, as they were meant to? Are you pushing too much, and risking pushing her out of your life? Is this how the miners felt, in Alaska, when their mail order brides would arrive? Sorry, had to throw that one in, for she will understand. What is the proper approach, to meeting her? Should you ask her to meet your plane, or go straight to a hotel, and arrange a nice romantic dinner? Do you meet, for the first time, at a restaurant, the hotel lobby, or should you pick her up? Her children are her life. Should your first meeting also include them?. But I wentthrough unimaginable physical pain to earn this right. How can it bethat you hate a part of your body, a part of your body that gave you somuch pleasure as a teenager, so much that you'll endure any amount ofpain to have it removed? How can it be that having a part of youremoved makes you feel whole? I love the fact that even the tightest,skimpiest panties fit properly without an embarrassing bulge and it wasworth every minute to achieve that.But today, I'm seeing Sarah. Hand washing the delicate lingerie setsafter use is such a pain so I'll save them for another time. This braand pants will do. They don't match but no one will see them. Right,what's next?Stockings or socks? I can still remember looking at girls in primaryschool wearing nylon tights and thinking how grown up they looked. Iused to look at my own legs in my short trousers, all battered andbruised from the rough and tumble games we used to play and wish I couldhave their legs, flawless and smooth. .
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