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When I realized there were others in the room this time, watching my most private moments, I lost any sense of modesty I had left. There was no choice to be made, not by me anyway. The moment had been choreographed by someone else and I was simply a player. This day (days?) have moved in slow motion, with me coming in and out of a trance-like consciousness. The Man comes to me occasionally and touches me, to remind me and bring me back from that dark place I have been inhabiting. If it were not for his touch, I think I would surely go mad. He comes to me again, and asks me who I am. He reminds me that I am only "A" now. The complicated things that make up Alexus have been somehow altered, probably permanently. In my mind I hear myself telling him I am "A", and nothing more. I wish only to be "A", to make The Man proud that I am "A". I find myself hoping that He will want or need "A" in some way. I have slept some, on and off. At times I move slightly and this starts me swinging. ‘Hello massage,’ she said, but in a clipped excited voice. Being different, it caught my attention. A couple of paces past her, I stopped and turned. ‘Thank you for stopping,’ she said, with a meek little smile, and the same little girl voice.What the hell, I thought, and went in for a massage. As I did so, I noticed a slim middle aged man of Scandinavian appearance, putting his shoes on outside.The girl looked mid-twenties, and of average build for a Thai lady, but much fuller breasted than most.The shop was small, with just three cubicles, each with a simple bench covered by a thin mattress and towels.The oil massage followed the usual routine - face down for a massage first, and then see what happens when she asks you to turn over.If you are not interested in ‘extras’ then it is advisable to wear a towel or keep your boxers on, presenting naked clues the girl as to what you’re after.And if she doesn’t do ‘happy endings’ then she will put a towel over you as she comes in.I laid face.
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