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She could make out the detail of Helen's sensual dance in a way she never had before. For the first time Bethany was aware of her body, she wanted what Helen had.She slid quietly from her window seat, and stood before her mirror. Raising her arms quickly she tugged the nightdress over her head. Her hands fondled the smooth slopes leading to her distended breasts and their heavy nipples. Then the moonlight flooded the room, the full moon had wrestled free of its cloud cover and a blue cast brilliance fell on everything.Bethany saw her reflection, it was stark, and she observed all her faults, her large hooked nose, thin lank hair, and worst of all her body! Bloated breasts sagged between her chubby fingers, and her over-stretched belly took on a pasty, mottled hue. The spell was broken; Bethany sank to her bed and cried herself to sleep.Chapter Two: InsideWhen the new day dawned Bethany was up with the lark. Her sombre mood of the night before forgotten, she sang softly as she. " Oh, Carmelita, you are so good to me! Daddy's illness has got me down so much, that I can hardly face him without breaking down. The doctor says that he only has a few more months to live and then I will lose him, just the way I lost my mother so many years ago. I miss her so much and I know I will miss him just as much. What can I do? I want to cry all of the time. I don't know if I am more sad for him or for me. I am so frightened. What will I do? When I lose him, I will be all alone. I know I have you, but it just won't be the same! Please don't be mad at me. I love you and I know you love me." Sarah, it is right to mourn. Your mother was an angel and I know you miss her. Your father is so gentle and kind, everybody will miss him, too. It is alright to be frightened of what may happen, but you are only 20 years old. You have many years ahead of you and you will find a husband you can love, honor, and cherish. When you meet this man, you will know it, so don't worry about it now..
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