There's No Sex In The Champagne Room.

He was a good male role model for me as I grew into manhood, always there to answer any questions I might have. When the time came that I wanted to know about sex, I was never once made to feel uncomfortable about asking questions of an explicit nature. I knew that I would always be given an honest answer, and that Uncle Mike’s discretion was iron clad. In other words, he would die before he betrayed my trust. Aunt Lauren was an illustrator for a publisher who dealt strictly in children’s books who, and she didn’t know until later, also inspired me to want to be an author. And I’ll forever remember when I was a little boy, her letting me sit and watch her draw characters from whatever story she was illustrating at the time. I knew not to disturb her and to just sit and watch. However, when she would get any kind of story that would, in any way, involve monsters, I knew that my expertise would always be called upon. I helped her create most of the monsters in more than several. Between someyounger and sinfully cute (formerly rogue) males, and this posse ofhunky handsome, openly gay gym jocks. For these younger macho bucks, 'getting some' now meant something else,hooking up on radical sexy dates - as bambi! "How could she conjure upall them harsh muscle fags?" Their bearded older (former) drinkingbuddies lamented to me afterwards. "I'm not going anywhere near the Fag-Hag....Man!" One of the more solid, homo-hating biker goons actuallytold me. Flexing his bulging arm and tatoos for emphasis, putting down an emptybeer on this seedy looking bar rail to explain: "Fruits and nuts likeyou, Allan. Can crash her kinds of parties, but anyone else is targeted- and destroyed!"Not exactly. But the twisted old witch probably wanted it all along. Forthe criminally minded, bearded drug-dealing outlaws to exit, her belovednew-age party scene. Mostly because, some troubled young men the Fag-Haghappened to meet, probably needed 'romantic guidance'. Maybe that's why Filly just.
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