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Anyway, the movie was set in England like a million years ago and therewas this really, really beautiful young lady, you know slim and with thehair and this gown that was just wow. And this handsome guy dressed theway English guys dressed a million years ago comes into her garden tellsher how wonderful and beautiful and kind she is and how she owns himbody and soul. When he says all this, she starts crying. Not boohooingbut tearing up. Then he gets down on one knee and begs her to be hiswife. She says yes, and he stands up. They very gently take each other'shands and slowly get closer and closer. Then he kisses her, not like oneof those raunchy, eating-one-another-up kisses like you see all thetime. This was like he was almost worshipping her. I had never seenanything so gentle so loving or so tender in my whole life.I watched her enjoy it. She seemed all at once happy and complete andfulfilled. I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to feel justlike that. And in that moment. . . and yet I DID do it. And a third time, sad to say. I even felt I wanted MORE and I rubbed myself again, but 3 is really my limit, so that was it.Even as I write this, my heart beats fast and I begin to perspire with dread. And yet there IS that tingle . . .I was VERY disturbed about it ALL. Certainly the dream, but the fact I had orgasmed over something I consciously HATE, something I would NEVER even consider in real life. Why? It was about 3AM, but I couldn’t go back to sleep, thinking, ashamed of myself, wondering why it had happened. By morning I was out of the dream and any arousal, but I felt that I wanted to rid myself of that dream, even the memory of it, but somehow I know that won’t happen, and I haven’t been able to forget it. And I found myself thinking of it often. And I felt I had to tell you of my dream and the way it made me feel. Disgusted and aroused all at the same time . . . so conflicted in my feelings. I immediately wondered if I was wise to share it with.
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