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But some people will nearly fucking kill you because they hate themselves and if you are a part of them, they can put all their hatred on you. Others will push you away because they’re frightened and can put all their fear onto you. It’s hard to find someone who loves you for you, not like part of them, and hard to accept being loved like that. The HOG took one hand out of mine and wiped it across his eyes. ‘I started working long hours,’ he said. ‘I would find training courses to do at the weekends. Then my P.A. had an accident and was off sick for a couple of months.’ P.A.? WTF!! I cast an anxious surreptitious glance at the briefcase. Just who was the HOG? ‘A temp came in to cover. She was a younger woman. At first she seemed ideal. She worked the long hours that I did and very ably supported me.’ (Yeah I fucking bet she did! the gold-digging little tart.) ‘She started bringing takeaway meals in for us. And wine. One night … she made a pass at me. ‘But I realised,’ (what a. It would be a thousand times as painful as losing Julia!*****Did I mention that attending school as a girl went way better than Icould have hoped for? That was at least ONE bright spot. Oh sure, I gotlots of stares and snickers from other kids who knew of me from pastschool years, and some snide comments from some girls (the kind who aremean to ANY girl that isn't a member of their little elite clique), butall in all it was quite bearable. Maybe because my close friends, whoalready knew about my feminine side, were so incredibly supportive.The most amazing thing was how my old nemesis Justin Bradford reacted.Can you believe it - not badly! When, inevitably, we encountered eachother in the corridor between classes, he just nodded in recognition andwalked right by! And that's how he behaved every time we saw each other.I did notice from time to time that he was gawking at me, but he alwaysturned away quickly as though he didn't want me to know he was staring.His cronies weren't quite.
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