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Most of the furniture had already been ordered - in fact Dave was at the apartment to receive it, but George wanted Hannah to select her own bedroom furniture, and they had to buy everything, as in everything, in fittings, lamps, kitchen gear, bedding and towels and so on."We'll head to the apartment right away and get an overview," George said to Hannah. "If Colin, Liam and Fiona can entertain themselves then Dave and I can set up the furniture while you, Joanna and Catherine make the shopping lists. Afterwards the four of us will head out to buy as much of it as possible while Dave takes the younger kids to a park or something."Joanna nodded assent and Catherine beamed at being included in the adult party.Hannah was not so sure. "I wanna sleep," she said in a little-girl voice - eliciting giggles from all the children, including Catherine."Yes," George said sweetly. "Tonight." It's tonight NOW!" Hannah said in a mock whine that none of the kids could have bettered; making Colin,. ’ He replied–a simple reply– ‘OK.’ I babbled for a while, asking if I had anything of his to return and vice versa because I did not want to have to return to this place. I looked at him for a moment and stared at this man who I loved with a passion deeper than even I realize sometimes and asked ‘Would you like a hug before I go?’ Stupid of me, I love self-loathing and being masochistic, I had to if I wanted to feel this heart wrenching pain. ‘Yes’ another simple reply, I walked over to the bed and he opened his arms and I hugged him. After just milliseconds, I let go it hurt so much. I said goodbye again and asked if he wanted the divider closed, ‘Yes’ Lovely, another simple reply. I shut the divider and started grabbing my stuff, it was time to leave. I thought quietly for a minute running through so many emotions: pain, gratification– there was more paroxysms of grief than I anticipated. It was so hard to process my choice, I knew, for once in my life, I meant it. I was going to.
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