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"I don't know what he's trying to accomplish with his phony French bit. If it's romance, he's missed the mark. You are more romantic than he ever will be. You have more romance in your little finger than he has in his entire being. I could see it in those juvenilia stories and certainly in this one." He tapped the notepad. "But now, I think that would be wrong." Why?" Brenda -- do you love Roger?" It's complicated. I told you he rescued me from a bad situation. I owe him some loyalty for that. We get along ... most of the time. I know he cheats on me ... I thought he reached a new level of audacity when he brought his girlfriend home for dinner the other night." Miriam?" Rick asked. "He invited her for my sake, not his." Rick -- I hope this isn't some male-tribe cover- up. I really hate it when men do that." Oh, no. Roger contrived to have me drive her home, figuring I'd stay the night with her. He was perplexed when I came back, alone." Brenda pursed her lips and narrowed her gaze.. But there’s a perverse and intense pleasure in being a fifty rupee whore for those wild, uneducated penniless men.”Somehow that struck a cord with me. And I realized why I had been so unsatisfied even after having sex with those other men in recent times. They were good in bed, but they were too gentle, too nice, too….. Normal. Apparently, I did not want that. I wanted men like the ones Padma mentioned. Men like Zahid and Mansoor whom someone like me normally would not even look at, much less talk to. Maybe it was the taboo of the situation. Maybe it was the masochistic instinct of giving myself up to ugly, uncouth and uneducated men. Whatever it was, that was what I wanted.A week later, as I got off the plane in Bombay for the interviews there, I had given this a lot of thought. Weighed the pros and cons of my desires. The cons were fairly obvious, and the same ones that had kept me away from Zahid and Mansoor after that one night. The fear of getting blackmailed, and of my.
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