But...”“I need to think about this. To say I am unhappy about this, well, all I can say is I am unhappy about this,” I said. “But I need to think. Let’s go.”We drove slowly and wordlessly to her place. I didn’t even look at her while we drove. Arriving, I didn’t even try to kiss her, our usual wont. I just waited for her to get out and go up to her apartment. She opened the car’s door, but turned to me for a final word.“Julian, I am not betraying you. I’m not,” she said. I turned to look at her. I nodded. She got out and went inside. I didn’t drive off, not immediately. But then, after a few minutes, I did.I had to think. She was my woman. It was unlikely that if I broke it off with her that I would ever find another. Yes, I had to think and decide, and it was going to be tough doing so. What I was not going to do was be rash in making my decision. Over the next days I would be acting much the same as usual except for the intimacy part. But we’d get along, talk a little about things,. I got to class late — mostly 'cause I didn't want to meet her at the door — and sat on the opposite side of the room. I got started talking with the girl next to me, Maya, who was cute — very athletic looking — and asked her out after class. By the end of class, I figured it was safe to look in Ame's direction.It was not.She was looking at me. Cold. Closed. My throat went dry and my heart raced. Her head tilted slightly.She could not want to speak to me. Luck like that I did not deserve.When everyone else had left the room, she was still waiting. I thought fast. She liked strength, it seemed. I turned back to my desk and packed my stuff as if I didn't want to crawl over on my knees and beg for her forgiveness. I tried to settle my nerves as well as my books. When I walked over to her, I hoped I looked calmer than I felt."Uh..." I couldn't think of the first word to say."I didn't get my water today." She looked away from me and slowly, methodically, put away her books. "You were late.".
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