You’ll get a shower, a uniform, we’ll even braid your fucking hair. Now drink up; they’re going to be here soon.”A shower… Meeting the players… suddenly, the world doesn’t smell so bad. I’ve walked past the quarterback in the hallway this morning, and he’s positively dreamy. I lift Medium Tits’ abandoned bucket and slurp my first mouthful or regurgitated urine. A shiver rides up my spine, but a few deep breaths later, I’m gulping down throatfuls stopping only for small, dignified burps.“Sorry…” is all I can think to say to the small-tittied girl still in a vicious dry heaving cycle as I steal her bucket to slurp the top layer on all four like a bitch. I have to close my eyes; this twice-thrown-up mix of piss and bile is too nasty to look at. Gulp, gulp, gulp… The only thing stopping the backwash is a constant flow into my expanding stomach.I’m like a beached whale when my bucket makes a hollow plastic thud on the tile floor, the last mouthful refusing to. Then my mother did something I never thought she would do. She reached back and slapped Cathy right in the face as hard as she ever hit us when we were kids and being punished. (When I was a kid corporal punishment was the norm.) “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry after destroying the best man you will ever know, you stupid bitch. You not only chased the best man you ever touched out of his family’s life, but you did it on a lie from someone you knew hated my son. Please let us have this time to grieve without the pain you caused.”The whole funeral parlor full of people were watching what was going on. Most knew the back story, and by now, my ex-wife knew she had been lied to when she accused me of cheating.Cathy left with as much dignity as she could muster.My name is Charles Fremont, Chas to my friends and family. I am 33, and as I said before back in Grand Rapids, MI for my father’s funeral. I was married to Cathy Gilman for two years and we divorced more than four years ago.I am a.
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