“I want us to become lovers and to date you from now on. What do YOU think?” “Oh, you sweet man,” she said with a lilting laugh. “Just come and kiss me. That was what I hoped for all along. What do you say about spending the night with me?” “Let me just send a text message to Alice first. I’m going to tell her to go fuck herself,” I answered. “No don’t do that. I have an idea I’d like to talk to you about first. That girl needs to be taught a lesson and we can teach her one that she will remember for the rest of her life.” “Really, what kind of a lesson?” I asked. “Alice has been treating you with contempt. She has often said to me that you were a lousy lover and the reason she dated you was that she could control you like a little puppy dog. She also used me to feel superior because she was better looking than I was and in contrast that would make her look good. Right?” “Well yes, that seems, to sum up the situation,” I answered. “Have you considered why I went along with this. .. 'Adam said, 'What is a hill?'So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.He told Adam, 'On the other side of the hill you will find a cave.'Adam said, 'What's a cave?'After God explained, He said, 'In the cave you will find a woman.'Adam said, 'What's a woman?'So God explained that to him, too.Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce.'Adam said, 'How do I do that?'God first said (under His breath), 'Geez... 'And then, just like everything else, God explained that toAdam, as well.So, Adam goes down into the valley,across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.Then, in about five minutes, he was back.God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, 'What is it now?'And Adam said...(YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!!!!!)'What's a headache?'!!!!!!!!!!!This one is compliments of John:On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and.
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