”A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish.“I think it’s got epilepsy,” he tells the vet.The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to me”.The blond man says, “Wait, I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet”.A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND “.He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.A blond man shouts frantically into the phone“My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.“No”, he shouts, “this is her husband!”A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.The cop says, “That’s your air freshener swinging about!”A blond man’s dog goes missing and he is frantic.His wife says “Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?”He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.“What did you put in. " Shut up! That's enough bullshit grovelling. I think, that you said it on purpose because you like your ass slapped. Am I right, Sophie? Are you a dirty girl who likes her ass spanked for being bad?" She doesn't answer me, but the flush in her cheeks tells me all I need to know. "Now, sit down, spread your legs and finger that sweet juicy cunt for me." Sophie flops backwards into a dining chair, her ass on the edge and her legs as far apart as they go. She traces her index and middle fingers lightly over her swollen pussy lips, teasing herself. Looking into my eyes, she smiles seductively and deftly parts her lips, revealing her moist pink pussy. Her fingers glide over inner lips, up towards her clit. She pulls her hood back to expose her throbbing purple button and circles it gently with her index finger, moaning as she brings herself pleasure. I slip my own hand down to cup my pussy and start to slowly rub myself. Sophie smiles, knowing she has me turned on seems to spur her on as.
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