"Thank you. Now, as we are all here, we have some business of the courtto attend to. Catrine, would you please join me on the dais," she saidgesturing to her in the front row.Catrine got to her feet and carefully climbed the two steps up to theEmpress. Catrine approached the Empress and gave a deep curtsy."Few in the Empire have done as much for the people of Virago as CatrineElizabetha Wahl has," the Empress started.She motioned to the footwomen standing off to the side of the throne whoimmediately came forward with a small rectangular cushion and placed itin front of Catrine on the ground. She then turned to Catrine andaddressed her."Please kneel before me," she said.Catrine lightly took her dress into her hands and deftly knelt before herMajesty, lowering her head in a small bow. As she did, the footwomenreturned from the wings carrying a long narrow red velvet pillow on whichthe Imperial Scepter lay. They held the pillow in front of the Empress.As she spoke, she took the. So I did something I’m not proud of – I fake texted.I believe my inner dialogue went something along the lines of: “Oh my god, everyone knows I’m here alone. Everyone is staring at me thinking I am a huge creep… Wait a minute. No one is actually looking at me. Why is no one looking at me?? Am I not attractive to lesbians? F*ck, here comes someone. La di da, don’t mind me, I’m just looking at my cell phone, checking all my text messages from all my hot lady suitors… Okay, phew. They passed.”This went on for an hour. I literally sat there, surrounded by sexy women and fun music, staring at a blank cell phone screen. It was getting late. The bar was going to close in 45 minutes. Suddenly, something clicked in me. I stood up, mumbled “F*ck it” under my breath, and walked into the crowd of dancing lesbians.Do you know how awkward it is to dance by yourself amidst a crowd of people all dancing in couples or groups? I’m pretty sure it’s up there in my nightmares with showing up naked to.
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