She said, “Your father is a little crude, but when men are discussing livestock, the talk often does get crude. Now tell me how you felt when your father started talking about YOUR Lisa like she was a cow?”“Well growing up with dad talking that way, I knew what he meant, but I did have the urge to punch his lights out,” I said.“And when he advised you to tap all the honeys who were moony over you in high school, how did that feel?” Mom said.“Well I think there was a reason I didn’t notice those girls. If you want to maintain the beef metaphor, Lisa is USDA Prime, so why would I want to waste my time with US Good?” I said.Mom frowned and said, “A lot of girls put on a good act for a short time, but when they think they have you all tied up or a ring in your nose, or what not, they get all bitchy and demanding. They start to treat a man like a servant or a cash cow. How do you know Lisa hasn’t been acting?”“Well my plan was to live with her in an off-campus apartment for our Senior. “No,” she said sarcastically. “I finger-banged myself watching you and then ate your kitty because I don’t feel any attraction whatsoever!”I didn’t know how to respond but my body definitely knew how.“All we need to do is to loosen it a few links here and here,” she held up one on the cups in her hand. “And then move the clasp over to here,” she held up the portion of the back-strap pinched between her fingers. “You’re lucky I know a little bit about chainmail.”I watched intently as she took the pliers and unlinked the strap, opened a slit in the metal weave on both cups and then transferred the rings she had removed from the strap to the open portions in the cups. She made it look simple and easy. I’ve tried sewing before and couldn’t even make a pillow case but she was deftly reweaving chainmail and talking idly with me as if it were nothing.Giving her work a final inspection some mere minutes later she held it before me. “Try it on now!”It fit much better now. My breasts weren’t.
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