Question #1: How many sexual partners have you had in your lifetime? (Do not include molestation or rape) I suddenly became very unsure if I wanted to continue interviewing my grandpa but when I slowly looked up at him after reading the first question he gave me a reassuring look as he calmly answered, 8, and I havent forgotten a single one! Grandpa smiled at me and winked. I nervously laughed, still unsure of what I was doing. Alright, Question #2: How many active sexual partners do you currently have? I wasnt sure I wanted to know if my grandpa was cheating on my grandma. But, he confidently answered, Only one. Then my grandpa sighed -I didnt know what to think of that sigh. Good. I smiled at him. Question #3: On average, how often do you currently have sexual intercourse? Woah, I thought -Im toast now. But, once again, my grandpa surprised me by looking me in the eyes as he answered, Sadly, maybe once every two weeks if Im lucky. Ever since your grandma went through menopause. " You did *what*?" The older man's anger redoubled. "How many victimsso far?" Senator, 'victims' is a harsh--" How many victims?" The younger man's relative calm only made the olderman lose his patience all the more."I'd say somewhere in the low five thousands." The lady who called Barack an Arab at my rally, was she one of yours?" No, Senator, but she fed the models for every new voter since then."The younger man thought for a moment, then added, "Probably about twothousand individuals." Two thousand like her?" The older man reeled, "Do you realize whatyou've done? You've set the country back a decade! I'm trying tomarginalize these people, not make more of them!" I'm sorry?"The older man realized he'd let something slip. "This does not leavethis room, do you hear me, Eric?"The younger man nodded solemnly. "When Barack and I had that meeting with the administration and theparty leaders right after the crisis, when I suspended the campaign, Ididn't say anything at that.
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