I sat in the chair in front of her between her spread out legs. Stacy rolled a cart into the room with a towel over it, then flipped the towel back and handed me a set of cordless clippers.“Oh God Ted! Please enjoy your birthday present and dispose of it immediately.” I was enjoying being the one to tease Kelly now. I flipped the switch on the clipper and heard them start to chatter. I moved the clippers to Kelly’s forest and proceeded to start my clear cut operation. She was having trouble staying in place as the vibrations of the clippers were driving her crazy. Everyone was watching and laughing with little wise cracks about her jungle. I could tell the vibration of the clippers was getting to Kelly, her stomach was showing her grasping of breath as the clippers tortured her mound and let the jungle slip to the floor.Once everything was down to stubble, I handed the clipper back to Stacy who had been leaning against my back watching over my shoulder as I worked on Kelly’s patch.. Of course, of my entire family, I was the only one who realizedwe had all been changed into the idyllic Patton family."Mike," I said sternly, not bothering to rise from the kitchen chair.A small boy, the twin of my daughter, reluctantly appeared in thedoorway. He looked so cute it was all I could do to keep from getting upand hugging him."Now what did you say to your sister and her friend?"He mumbled, "I called them dorks."I frowned slightly. "Well, I wouldn't call that a particularly naughtyword, but it still isn't very nice." But they're dorky girls," he replied, a little relieved that "dork" wasapparently a milder term than he had imagined."Girls, yes," I agreed, "but not dorks. Someday, my little lad, you'll bedoing everything in your power to impress girls - not annoy them. Theywon't want to date you if you call them names." Date!" he repeated. "Yuck!"I had to laugh. "Go on, you guys, time to play."Mike and Michelle bolted for the den, each trying to be the first to takecontrol.
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