That should solve the problem.”The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.“Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”DO NOT LAUGHTHURSDAYOne night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly.Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defence.“Your Honour,” she began coolly, “I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.”FRIDAYA Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa...“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us. This time it just had a number 0. Now for the first time she noticed a button next to the display labeled "Reset." She tried to press it, but the shoulder restraints kept her from moving her arms that far forward.Before she tried anything else, she wanted to make sure she could get out. She pressed the "Unlock" button, half-expecting it to result in some maniacal laugh as the chair refused to let her go. She was almost disappointed when the restraints obediently released and moved out of the way.Her fear was beginning to dissipate. Twice she had locked and unlocked the machine now, and it had done exactly as she had told it. So far there was no indication that she could not escape at any time if she so desired. Still a little nervous, she pressed the "Lock in Place" button again, and the restraints once more covered her. She noticed that the cloth pieces around her legs and stomach were snug but not uncomfortable, just stretched tight enough to keep her from moving her body.
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