. He would have been dead. I’d come to better understand the fourteen-year-old who stepped in front of a bus three years ago. The experience of being buried alive, his unnatural lust for his sister, his unending nightmares, all indicated a depressed and tortured soul. If he had failed in his first attempt, he would have tried again.That’s when I merged and became V3. The old man distanced himself from the memory of the childhood trauma, substituting his own life memories and ultimately coming to understand and master the nightmares. I still had an occasional nightmare; that’s part of life. Our subconscious attempts to make sense of the multiple sensory inputs in life and the random combination of synapses firing isn’t always pleasant. My nightmares were far more likely to be about a different kind of pressure than being buried alive. If that popped into my sleeping brain, it was figurative.And the relationship with my sister was resolved by my simply not recognizing her as the same. He headed towards the hotel. He drove the speed limit just so he wouldn’t be pulled over for something dumb and ridiculous. He pulled in, pulled his overnight bag, and he went inside. He headed right for the elevators and he headed up to the room she had reserved. She had already prepared herself earlier. Having reserved the room, she arrived early, and took herself another refreshing shower. She did it all the same way. Makeup, brushed her teeth, and then she went and put it on. “Ooooooohh it feels soooo darn good” she said again about the bustier she so loved. With that, she put on her blouse. She pulled on her skirt. She double checked her hair. She turned and twisted and double checked her figure. “I look good don’t I?” she asked herself in the mirror. “I hope he thinks so.” There was a knock at the door. She slipped on her heels and headed to the door. She looked, through the peephole, and she smiled. Wow, he looks incredible she told herself. He looked so dapper she happened to.
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