You painted in the shirt when it was yours." Your style in bra. Besides you do things for the shirt." 'Off' isn't a style. I saw that gynecologist today, and guess what?" She said that you've been overusing your genitalia and to give them a month's rest?" No-ope!" She discovered that I've infected you with 11 rare, but disgusting, venereal diseases?" One more wrong guess and I go back to fixing dinner." She prescribed a diaphragm and spermicide, gave them to you; and you have it inserted now -- just in case a sex maniac might come through the door and whisk you off to bed?" Right the third time. But the sex maniac had better hurry, my husband was due home thirty minutes ago." Sorry. Rush job. Bosses ain't professors. 'Sorry, Prof. Hot date. Gotta run, ' doesn't hack it." Bet your professors didn't give second make-ups on their exams." I think that I did remarkably well with my psychic powers." With no little clues from my having told you precisely what I planned to do?" Pure psychic. ..My name is Kelly...Uh, no, I-I guess not...If it's okay with E-...oh, okay...here she is."Kelly hands the phone back with a guilty face. I narrow my eyes at her while I address my mom again."What did you get her to do mom?"I ask. "Well, she's coming to Thanksgiving of course. I love you very much, sweetheart. I'll talk to you soon."With that, she hangs up. My jaw drops as I stare at Kelly. "You agreed to Thanksgiving with my whole family Kelly! Even my second cousins come to Thanksgiving! What the hell were you thinking?!"I ask incredulously, starting to pace in front of her. Kelly folds her arms and shrugs her shoulders defensively. "It's your mother Emily! Do you want me to call back and tell her no? Because she'll come out here and drag us both there if I do and you know it!"Kelly argues. I groan and grab my clothes from my drawers."I wanted you to tell her you also have other things to do! You could have said you have a party! Something other than yes! Because now we have to go.
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