So you can come stay with me, till you figure out something for yourself." I would like that," she said. "And Sylvia, I am sorry for your loss." Thanks and I'm sorry about Andrew as will," I suggested. Wilson looked at the table to avoid my eyes. He knew better than to ask."Okay, let's go buy Mel a day bed," I suggested after lunch. We left her car in the parking lot after checking with the manager. It was close to his closing time, so he didn't mind.We went to Ellisboro and bought a twin box springs and mattress set. They gave us the metal frame. What deal I thought. I spent about seven hundred on it but that was okay. We needed space for an over night visitor now and then. Moving the furniture out of my bedroom sitting area, and moving the bed onto the barge required some real effort. We were forced to pull the barge closer to the dock by letting more slack into the one tie down rope and tightening the on on the pier. We closed the barge's four feet gap that normally separated it. I’m becoming more than a man, more than you ever were. Driven and burning to rise beyond Jesus‘ Phil Anselmo’s voice blasted into me, the heavy riff of Dimebag Darryl’s guitar carrying me back in time. The Monster was awakening. Hungry from its hibernation.Standing in front of the judge, who sat pale, in horrified silence. Staring in defiance as he struggled to meet the eyes of the Monster. The trial had been short. Marius’ death, while justifiable, had been compounded by Amanda’s murder. The court shrink had called me “One of the most psychologically damaged young men” he had ever evaluated. The fat little coward, sitting in judgment of the Monster, only saw what he wanted to see. The scars, the pain, the vast emptiness that filled me. They meant nothing to a man who never had to fight for his right to live.‘All I hear is human noise. You made your own fucking choice. I belong to only me. Silence for my revelry ... I can only die over time. Filthy hands, stay away from mine. Every.
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