I was back to my early years with Mr. DiTucci. I had finished my apprenticeship and said license appeared in the mail one day, just like magic!I was now Thomas Steel, Undertaker.One day Angelo and Mr. DiTucci drove me across town to an upscale neighborhood. There I was given the keys to my funeral home. After the grand tour and introduction to my staff, I was taken into one of the private rooms and explained the facts are of life.As I had suspected, Mr. DiTucci had a disposal problem. My job was to solve it.Actually, this was a little more complicated than at first glance. The authorities monitored funeral homes closely, even closer if the home had its own crematorium. I couldn't just fire up the burners and toss in a body. I had to keep records! And boy were they a bitch. Besides the "disposal" body, I needed a legitimate corporse. With that legitimate customer I had to keep a death certificate, a permission for cremation from the relatives, a "Certificate of Weight" before cremation. "She got up immediately and popped a door open. I guess that if I was in her shoes, I'd be curious to find the stash of snuff porn or whatever. Fooled her. I don't do that stuff. No porn."Marx Brothers? Really?" A weakness," I said."Warner Brothers cartoons?" Another weakness." Dad told me they used to watch them on Saturday mornings," she said. "I watch them when I find them. I see why." Your dad..." Died twelve years ago. Mom blew through the savings pretty fast, not that there was that much, but now she's out of money and living on the dole. She sort of picked back up on her drinking after Dad died." Sorry. Didn't mean to open old wounds." It IS a wound, Chuck. Just so you understand. That's why I hardly ever drink, myself." Just so you won't be shocked, then, if you open the fridge there's a few bottles of beer that I bought three weeks ago. One six-pack lasts me weeks. There's wine, too, in the pantry. Mostly for cooking." You're not a drinker?" She looked almost hopeful when she.
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