He wanted it to be a casual question but his hope colored it. "No. Not anymore." His eyes measured her. Long limbs. Just a few inches shorter than him on her blades. He already knew how gracefully she moved. Her cross-overs were so low his knees ached. "That's a shame," he said. "I've been thinking about trying to get back into it, actually," she said, flushing under her freckles. He let himself drift closer to her. She was so easy to skate with. "Do you need a coach?" he asked. She looked surprised. "I hadn't gotten that far thinking about it." "I'm an instructor." "I just...." She slowed her skating and they drifted apart. "I don't know if I can be coached, Ivan. I don't like to be touched." When she said his name his heart swelled; when she said she didn't like to be touched, it broke. "By anyone, in any way?" he asked. "At all," she said. "I'm working on it, though. This," she said, gesturing around the rink, "is part of my therapy." He should skate away. It was foolishness,. When he started talking, he muted the TV and looked at me. His glasses were off and had a serious look on his face. I never saw his eyes like that, they were hypnotic. Without a word I stood up and left for college early.“I was holding up for a very long time from having sex. Maybe I was just searching for the right person. Raj, is my cousin. He is the only guy I have spent most of my childhood with. Considering his age, he was not like a friend to me. He is not a brother either, at least I don’t think that way. There has always been a different connection between us. The connection where because of his experience he was my teacher and I was the student who learned new things from him. Maybe, sex is just another lesson I need to learn from him. That’s why he is the ideal partner to lose my virginity.” These thoughts constantly hovered in my mind while I sat in the lecture pretending to listen. I didn’t say anything about this to my friends. Actually I didn’t talk at all. Having sex.
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