Suddenly I realized what was so terrifying about being myself. I was petrified about letting the dominant part of me out. What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't go back to how I was, that way led nowhere, so I could only go forward, but I didn't know how to make a first step.I was contemplating that when Anna called. I hadn't realized it'd gotten so late. I hadn't eaten anything or moved from the table where Jenny sat down hours ago. Anna's suggestion of take out and movies sounded perfect. It'd been too long since we hung out, as she'd been spending a lot time with her boyfriend Robert, although, I think I heard something about them splitting up. If that was true I hope it hadn't been too bad, but then she usually called me if she needed anything. I recognized my passive stance again, and wondered how much of my life was waiting for other people to. After my high school I was sent to live with my Uncle and his family in the US. My uncle has 3 grills all range 13-21 and I was really close with my older cousin Thangam, even though she is very temperamental she has a big heart and on my twentieth birthday she showed me her love. Thangam has a boyfriend named Raj he is a very sweet guy who used to come and visit my cousin even though her parents did not like him much they used to see and speak to each other in secret. As for myself I had no luck in love or even finding a guy. One day I had came early from home and I heard moaning upstairs and I had gone upstairs and my cousin was watching XXX movies and playing with herself I got really turned on and with saying anything to her I had joined her and started watching the movie with her but did nothing to each other we just enjoyed watching the movie and both of us climaxed. This was the first time I saw any movies liked this I had asked my Thangam where she got it from she said Raj.
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