You see? Practical, and sensible. And yet there are exceptions.I was very fond of Rose, we met about ten years ago and then met up about once or twice a month over several years, but business only. Rose owned a snail farm, yes, honestly, and had, by reputation, an appetite for men that bordered on the voracious. She was an attractive blonde, and whilst no spring chicken, looked as though she could go the distance several times without stopping, though I had never experienced that myself. It wasn't that I didn't fancy her, but with her reputation I felt I was going to be compared to my predecessors, and y'know, I wasn't sure I fancied that. She had had, she told me, a toy-boy for a short while, sort of lifeguard type, and shagging him was great, stamina, size, you name it he had it, a nice bum too, she told me, see what I mean? So she decided that she ought to reward him, and took him out for a meal. They sat there in silence. You see they had nothing in common, there was no meeting. Today is your 18th birthday, and honestly, you're not too surprised to find your family and friends hosting your surprise party. Smiling at the assorted well-wishers you glow with excitement as your mom presents you with a massive cake, "Thanks, everyone! Wow, it looks really good!"So you enjoyed the cake, the various presents and the attention... and tried not to notice a sulking figure leaning in a corner, away from the festive spirit.The figure, wrapped up in a dark attire of black clothes and hanging chains, is your cousin, Jessica. Months ago her boyfriend broke up with her to date you and she never forgave you for 'taking' him. Even more so, she resented that you became very close to him so quickly - apparently, he bragged to Jessica about how much better at kissing you are compared to her. You dumped him when you found out, but she became even more resentful of you than ever.Finally the last present was set on your lap, and you were shocked to see it was from Jessica! You.
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