”“Hello, is this the Sheriff’s Office?”“Yes. What can I do for you?”“I’m calling to report ‘bout my neighbor Virgil Smith ... He’s hidin’ marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he’s hidin’ it there.”“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”The next day, the Sheriff’s Deputies descend on Virgil’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil’s house.“Hey, Virgil! This here’s Floyd ... Did the Sheriff come?”“Yeah!”“Did they chop your firewood?”“Yep!”“Happy Birthday, buddy!”Whoever said that rednecks weren’t sentimental?This compliments of the ‘Shy One’For all men and women that remember the past, ... how different we are.A wife was curious when she found an old negative in a drawer and had it made into a print.She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of her at a much younger, slimmer. . even the men.Saturday morning found Colin and Jane on the motorway heading for the country manor. Suitcases in the boot of the car, two full of clothes, and one loaded with sex toys.Colin smiled at his wife in the passenger seat. Jane was a natural blond and wore her hair long. He knew Pam's husband loved long hair and could remember the last time he had seen Jane up on all fours being fucked from behind as he held her hair in one hand and spanked her arse with the other. He had been sitting in a chair, his cock deep in Pam’s cunt as she sat on his lap and had laughed as she called out to her husband, “Ride her cowboy!”“How far, babe?” Jane and licking said.“Sixty miles, about an hour if the traffic stays light,” Colin said glancing at the satnav. “Have a nap if you like.”“I was thinking more along the lines of sucking you off my love,” Jane said sliding a hand over Colin’s groin.“Road's straight, traffic light, so go for it you sexy slut. Swallow my spunk, and get the taste for it..
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