The rest of the tape consisted of scenes of the two of them using me. Brian didn't make an appearance on this tape.I turned off the tape player and I sat crying for the next fifteen minutes. How could these people have done this to me? I trusted them and I thought Brenda was a friend. How could she have betrayed me in such a humiliating way? They thought they could do anything they wanted to me and it wouldn't matter. How could they be so arrogant and unfeeling?It was also painful to think that all of those things could happen to me and I would not be able to remember any of it. It was as if my mind had also betrayed me. I was so angry that, if I could have, I would have gotten a gun and killed all of them. Needless to say I didn't sleep well that night in spite of the four glasses of Scotch I consumed.In the morning I woke up with a headache and the memory of what I had seen on those videotapes. As I sat with my coffee, I began to think about what I should do if anything to get some. ” Holly replied, grinning. “Is that what the marks on your back are from?”The conversation stopped there. I stopped my half-smile from spilling my guts and could only think to put my head in my hands, suddenly wanting to be as far away from the conversation as possible. I prided myself as a guy who could handle anything, a guy who was cool in a crisis, but I just suddenly wanted to hide. To not exist, at least not exist in this conversation.It clearly showed. “Hey, hey.” Holly replied, as close to soothingly as she could. “I didn’t mean to bring that up. If it’s a sore spot, I’m sorry.”I could feel my voice getting choked up. I cleared my throat and replied, “Uh, yeah. Those are from him.” as clearly and evenly as I could muster.“You know you could do something about that, right? Report him or something?”“It’s ... complicated. There’s a, there’s a lot of factors at play.” I sighed. “He helps pay for tuition and he ... he looms it over my head. I don’t want to have any debt when I.
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