“You know why we divorced, Carmen. You cheated, I had a revenge fling, you got angry and kicked me out, then you tried to delay the divorce with counseling, and I was pretty pissed, so I simply sat in stony silence through every session. Used them all up until we were done. I didn’t believe the bullshit coming from your mouth back then and I doubt that I would now, either.“Somehow, your cheating was supposed to be a special case because ... it was romantic and was with an ex? Somehow, you doing it with an ex would be exempt, but not me fooling around because, what, feelings? It simply made no sense, and I did say that much, as I recall,” I reminded Carmen, who shrugged and laughed awkwardly now.“Well, I have a thing for exes. I’m sorry. I just do. Even now, looking at you, I have a strong urge just to climb up on the table and let you fuck me on top of our food. Or ride you in your chair. Exes bring excitement and danger with just enough of the known and comfort and security of a past. You’ve cost this company thousands of dollars. And on a personal project.”Paul: Yes, Monique, but it’s a great personal project! Are you familiar with the hypothesis that the universe is a computer simulation?Monique: “I’ve heard of that but I don’t see how it’s relevant to your ass being fired.”Paul: Because, Monique, if the universe is a computer simulation, that means it can be hacked. And I figured out how to hack it. The only problem was the massive amount of computing power that was required. But once I was in, I realized that I could just rewrite the rules of the universe so that any future hacking could be done on my smart phone. I designed my own app. Want to see how it works?Monique: “No I don’t want to see how it works! Put that away! What are you doiing..."Monique: “i’m sorry Paul, what was we talkin’ about? I spaced there for a second, .”Paul: You were just telling mehow glad you were that I came up here from IT to see you, Monique.Monique: “Oh god yes! You know how.
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