Coldly and without apology.He was trying to figure out if I was some kind of monster.The scene that they had heard about regarding my rape was gruesome.There I was. Found raping this poor girl, cum still dripping from my cock, as I had this crazy, possessed look in my head.Like I was about to kill somebody.I remember during the trial, Beth painted a picture that I was a predator. I sought her out since she was a victim of rape herself as a child, making her an easy target. How I sweet-talked her, like a sociopath priming his prey with unrelenting charm, waiting for my moment to strike.The same was true of what I did to Zoey, herself a rape survivor.Beth called every time we had sex "rape." That's what she told the jury before my attorney objected. The judge didn't allow that to pass into court record, since I was on trial for raping Zoey, but the jury couldn't un-hear it.But the fact that my DNA was inside of Zoey was all it took.It didn't help when, at one point, I looked out to the. We would sit cross-legged on the floor, with our knees rubbing and talk. Our conversations always flowed and I yearned to have that same experience in person. As our knees rubbed and the wine flowed even the thought of such an experience would warm my stomach. We would talk about our first kiss. It would always be unhurried. Our lips would slowly come together. Yes it was akin to a stereotypical movie moment. But nevertheless, that moment was something I dreamed about. I would always tell her that after that first touching of lips we would slowly pull our heads back and look at each other. Our expressions would be roadmaps to what was to happen next. Our bodies would be guiding our next moves. Our souls would be in suspended animation, as we would continue to kiss. I used to lie in bed and fantasize about all of this. I was very much turned on by her body. You see, for me, to enjoy someone as much as I enjoyed her had to be a prelude to wanting her physically. Because I liked her so.
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