He almost threw them away at that point, not wanting to read things like that while he felt incapable of much of any feeling other than his cold pain. He certainly didn’t want the reminders of his last pain, though they felt more like distant echoes to him now. But by the dates of the postmarks, once she’d gotten to England, he found that more and more, Eden’s letters detailed things about her stay there and they became very interesting to him. He finally found a binder for them and he placed them there. He doubted that he’d know her anymore – even if they met somehow, but he came to enjoy reading the letters and the way in which she documented her changes from a nineteen year-old’s point of view and onward. The strangest thing to him was the way that reading them comforted him in a very real way. He felt like some warrior out of the old times, one who had been and still was victorious at what he did. But he gained no comfort from it – as though that warrior had no place to come. .. that makes sexual fantasies come true," he said, saying the last part in a much lower voice."I didn't mean that!" Melinda paused a moment, looking frustrated. "Okay, look, maybe we should just forget about the house. If we don't go back, he's got nothing to tell anybody about, right?"Jason considered this, but only for a moment before meeting Melinda's gaze with a level one of his own. "You really want to stop going to the house?"Melinda leaned closer and dropped her voice to a whisper. "Nothing says we can't, you know, keep doing that stuff outside the house."They stared at each other for a long moment, and even before the words were out of Jason's mouth, they both realized that simply trying to walk away from the house and never go back again was an impossible feat for either of them."I don't think I'd be that good outside of that house," Jason muttered.Melinda had the impulse to tell him that she thought he would be just fine on his own, but she was reluctant to say anything.
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